Are you addicted to results?

What is a law? When is the last time you looked up the definition? Here’s the @MerriamWebster definition of ‘law’

Laws were written to tell people what to do. Laws work when people obey them. Laws are one-way. They tell you what to do and you react to obey or disobey. If you do (blank), then you will get (this result). If you obey the law/rule/command, then you will be rewarded (you will get good results). If you disobey the law/rule/command, then you will be punished (you will get bad results).

Laws promise a result. The results of disobedience or obedience are a good or bad result. Laws do not care about what you think or feel, they tell you about a rule that governs nature, math, and human behavior or misbehavior. Laws can help us understand our world’s design and bring order to chaos. They work to help us interact safely in our worlds to protect us and others from injury and harm. Laws should actually set us free to enjoy our worlds and lives more.

Somewhere along the way we bought into a misunderstanding of laws and thought they were the best way to control ourselves and others by telling us how to live, not set us free. We got a little law crazy and we started making up all kinds of laws and we put them everywhere and on everything, and then we submitted ourselves to being ruled by many rules.

Laws weren’t just in nature, math and science. Laws were in religion, society and they begin to appear in how we worked, played, ate, exercised, had sex, felt, thought, parented, married and loved. It seemed like everything had a law. If you do (obey blank) then you get this result (reward or punishment). If you eat this particular way/ obey this diet, then you are rewarded with weight-loss, 6 pack abs or 10x more strength. If you have sex this way (obey this rule) then you get a result like the best sex of your life. (I got that one from a man’s magazine.)

Seriously, I could do the If/ Then law formula for thousands of things. If you obey this parenting formula, then your kids will be “good”. If I eat this, exercise like this, live here, dress like this, believe that or say this, then I will be safe, secure, approved and valuable. The bottom line is “If I obey the rules, then I will be loved”. We have submitted ourselves to this formula/ this rule/ this law in just about every area of life to get a desired result.

No doubt, we got some of the results we wanted and then we got results we didn’t see coming. Living by these laws to get results, reduced us to just doers/obeyers and it did away with thinking, feeling, being, relating and living freely. These laws did away with the “uncontrollable”, the chaos, the risk and the experiences needed to live as a human being. We took something that was actually designed to help us live and we reduced it to get superficial results.

One question…How are all the these laws working for you? Do you have everything and everyone under control? Are you enjoying your life? Are you enjoying your perfect body, perfect kids, perfect spouse, perfect friends, perfect house, stress free life, perfect peace and happiness, and a life full perfection?

Laws cannot prevent life and they cannot prevent all the pain, sadness, hurt and disappointment. In other words, laws cannot prevent life from happening.
We were not designed to live under the law. Life was not designed to be an If/Then but a “what’s next”. Obviously, we need laws to enable us to have order in our world but we sure as hell don’t want our entire life lived keeping some crazy rules about who we are, how we feel, think and relate or what we do to experience and enjoy life’s gifts.

All these laws have stunted our growth spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and relationally. We are so busy obeying rules that we have lost common sense and the natural way of discovering a flow and rhythm to our spirits, hearts, minds, bodies and relationships. The laws we have created to govern our lives have not made us lazy, they have made us unbalanced and very busy. We are so busy obeying to get results, that we cannot see how disconnected and fragmented that our lives have become to make all the laws work.

Laws only work in certain times and in certain places with certain things. The law of gravity does not work in space. The laws of mathematics do not apply to raising kids. The laws for driving (stay in your lane), does not work for friendship and community or even your own person. The rules we make up for your kids do not apply for your coworkers or spouses. What about the laws that we make up for work and then we don’t follow them at home or the laws that we follow at church but don’t apply when we are making money or in the online world. Do we even bother discussing all the rules we have on food or exercising?

I think we are finally seeing the real results of all these laws. We are exhausted, unhealthy, confused, lonely, anxious and for the most part unhappy. All these laws did not get us the control that we thought they would nor did they get the expected results.

Why didn’t our laws work? Because we are hardwired to rebel against the laws that tell us who we are, how to think and feel and what to do with our own bodies and lives. We are not designed to “live” by laws, we are designed to live out of love. Love that transforms us and our lives to connect and flow with rhythm and balance that then moves us to receive good things, not “get results”.

It’s time to stop with the rules and results. We are more than rule-keepers, we are human beings that are designed to live life. I invite you to Give-Up living to get results with all your little laws and learn how you are designed to nourish everything in your life with love. It’s time to study the creation of you and stop creating dumb rules that keep you from experiencing and enjoying real life and all of life’s gifts.

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