Give-Up being DIAGNOSED to Death.

 

Aren’t we tired of being diagnosed? How many times have we been diagnosed in order for someone to deliver us with their programs and formulas that are guaranteed to fix us, change us, help us and save us… if only they can control us to buy whatever they are selling? You are fat, here is a diet. You need six pack abs, here is a workout. You need peace, here is a meditation app. You are depressed, here is some medication. A diagnosis tells us what’s wrong with us, that we need to be delivered and who can deliver us.

Every day we are being diagnosed and every day we are being offered thousands of delivery programs and formulas that promise the perfect body, the perfect health, the perfect stress level, the perfect home, the perfect kids, the perfect marriage, the perfect skin, the perfect closet, the perfect vacation and ultimately the perfect life. Given the availability and “proven results” of all these delivery programs, how many people have achieved the perfect life or when having completed the delivery program was FINALLY delivered from doing the delivery program again?

Do, why don’t most delivery programs work to deliver us? Perhaps it’s time to turn the tables and diagnose the delivery programs.

The diagnosis is delivery programs usually don’t deliver because:

  • They usually get the diagnosis wrong.
  • They try to deliver you through one part of yourself.
  • They try to deliver you from the outside in
  • They are based on you being fragmented and living a fragmented life.
  • You aren’t designed to be delivered by a delivery program.

First, delivery programs diagnosis is usually wrong. The problems that we can easily see are usually not the real problems. The most obvious issues are usually a result of the real problem. Stress, injury, pain, tiredness, weight issues, food issues, addictions and relationship problems are all “results” of much deeper issues. So, no matter what we do to change the results that we clearly see, the real problem that is causing those results is still there. You can’t change food issues by changing the food. If your using food as a means to an end (meaning if you are using food to get a result like lose weight, change your feelings, give you an identity or get love), then it doesn’t matter what I tell you to eat, you’ll continue to misuse food and you’ll never be free or delivered to just enjoy food for the gift that food is designed to be.

Second, programs that reduce you to a part of yourself, like a body, a mind, a spirit, a heart can only deliver that part of you for a short period of time. Maybe you can get some control over your body by denying it, maybe you’ll take control over your emotions by avoiding them, maybe you’ll get control over those thoughts by distracting yourself with something else and maybe you’ll get control of your soul through religious practice. But… how long does that control last? How many diets led have led to lasting joy? How many self-help courses have given you the control over your life and resulted in lasting success, happiness, and self-esteem?

When you spend all your time and energy trying to deliver yourself through one part of yourself, you are also forcing parts of yourself to stop functioning as they are designed. If you were successful to deliver yourself through one part of yourself, then chances are that you would continue to deny the other parts of yourself. If you could get everything you wanted like peace, love, joy, success, and control through your body, then you would never get to know your heart, mind, and spirit. If you were able to deliver yourself through your spirit or mind, then you would just continue to ignore the needs of your heart and body. Look around, how many religious people do you know who are physically unhealthy.

Third, delivery programs fail again and again because they are trying to deliver from the outside in. They give you solutions, formulas and ideas to manage (control) your external issues. 13 steps to manage your stress, 7 steps to manage your weight, 5 steps to manage your relationships and thousands of other ways to manage your kids, spouses, workplace, home, pets, clutter, car, health, emotions, spirit and on and on and on. Control and manipulation have never worked to transform spirits, hearts, minds and the parts of us that determine our external lives.

Fourth, these programs are based on us living a fragmented life and being fragmented people where our minds, hearts, spirits, bodies, and relationships are operating independently from one another. A workout does not need your heart, mind or spirit. Work doesn’t need your heart, spirit or body. Social media only needs a pic, post or 140 characters but definitely not too much of you and certainly not all of you. All things ask you to reduce yourself to what is acceptable to someone else. If you obey, then you may think you are accepted but when someone asks you to reduce yourself, you have already been rejected.

Programs can work to get temporary results BUT if you every time you have to check a part of you at the door to make the program work, it is not sustainable. You have a built-in rebellion button and trust me your heart is pushing it every time your told “it doesn’t matter what you feel, just obey” and your mind is pushing it every time you try to cram some nonsense down your throat like “pain is weakness leaving the body”. Your spirit is pushing the rebellion button every time you’re told that “You’ll get love if you change, obey, get better, do more and try harder”. Last but not least, your body is pushing the button every time you take control to use it as means to an end.

Your whole person (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally) is designed to come together to create its own balance, flow and rhythm, so you can experience and enjoy life. As long as you are trying to manage and control every aspect of your life, there’s absolutely no way you can enjoy yourself and your life, or experience how it naturally and mysteriously comes together in alchemy to be a place love, truth, hope, joy, faith, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.

So what’s the real diagnosis? I don’t believe you have to be a rocket scientist to see we have been trying to deliver ourselves for a long time and we are more exhausted, neurotic, overweight, obsessed, stressed, unhappy, lonely and BUSIER than we have ever been. Maybe our lives and even our bodies appear very managed and under control, but inside we are numb, sad, angry, insecure, lonely, anxious and tired. We are bingers and yet we are never full. We consume at the highest levels but it’s never enough. We have tried to manage our entire lives and I think we have started looking back wishing we could do it again and CTFO and just enjoy our lives, ourselves, our families, our work and our time of being alive.

Food, stress, kids, anxiety, spouses, homes, cars, power, fame, work, money, exercise and things are not the problems and are not the solutions. It’s time to discover how you are designed and how you can live life and enjoy it as a whole-person in the present moment with hope, trust, peace, joy, and love. There’s no delivery system, there’s just life and life was meant to be lived with the ups and downs, the good and bad, the challenges and successes as a whole-person feeling, thinking, moving and relating as it was designed.

The real problem is not delivery systems, it’s we have forgotten how we are designed to not need delivery programs or formulas to be human and live. It’s time to rediscover how we are designed to breathe, listen, ask, look and move to nourish ourselves. You are invited to GIVE-UP using delivery programs to get control over things you can never get control over. You are invited to Give-Up trying to control life and just live it, one crazy full day at a time.

 

 

 

Food cannot fix you.

How can you absolutely guarantee the misuse of something? Focus all your time, energy, money and attention on it.
Any “diet” that makes you think about food all day, wants to talk about food all day and even wants to talk about food more than it wants talk about you is a bad “diet.”
A friend told me once about a girl she thought I should follow on Instagram. The girl once had a life-threatening eating disorder and now she talks about using food in a positive way. Sounds great, right? Here’s someone who had used food negatively and was now using food positively.
Something about that story just rubbed me the wrong way. The next morning it hit me: Why is someone who had been so obsessed with food STILL dedicating her life to talking about it? Whether it’s good talk or bad talk, she is making it her life to talk about food.
That focus on food is exactly the problem with a bad “diet”- we become obsessed with food. A bad diet makes food the focus of your daily life. We think about it, we talk about it with friends and in “diet” groups, and we use hotlines, coaches and apps that focus on food.
While we at VIVE Alchemy think it is important for you to have an honest conversation about food and learn how you are designed to nourish yourself with food, we do not believe food should be the focus of your day or your life. We do not believe food is the connection that exists between your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual parts.
Food keeps you alive and nourishes an internal connection, but wild blueberries or cupcakes don’t connect the heart to the mind or the mind to the spirit. Likewise, food is not a relationship connector. Food may be something you share with a friend, but food cannot be the connection in a relationship.
The bottom line is you can focus on food all day long and it won’t change your body, your heart, your mind, your spirit or your relationships. In reality, this focus on food usually sabotages the body. Food is neither your problem nor your solution.
Food is a basic need that doesn’t require all your attention. The more time and energy you spend focused on it, the less you spend focused on your whole person, the person who determines whether you use food as a means to an end or as a basic daily gift of nourishment.

Give-Up living for Results

We are not designed to live life to get results. Life is not a result. Life is living how we are designed to nourish our whole- person every day with the truth, beauty, dreams, exercise, passions, good thoughts, physical nutrients and love.

If we deprive the spirit, heart, mind or body to get a specific result, then we will make up for that deprivation somewhere, somehow and someway.

Trying to just get results force us to live in contradictions and deny satisfying our basic needs. The mind is starving for truth and we try to fill it up with and more useless information. The body is starving for nutrients and we try to fill it up with junk food. The heart is starving to be heard and we ignore it. The spirit is starving to be known and accepted. Yet, we stay in places and online where we can never be known.

But…

What have been the real results of living to get results? We are constantly filling ourselves up but we’re always hungry. We are more connected but we’re completely disconnected. We are full of information but we are more confused than ever. We work harder but we still don’t have enough. Our kids are involved in more activities but they still don’t know who they are or what to do. We are busier and more entertained than any time in history and we are bored out of our minds. We know more about more people and we don’t know them at all. We call more people friends but we are lonely for friendship. We have more drugs and healthcare but we are sick. We have bigger houses, larger neighborhoods, massive churches and less community. We have more diets and exercise gyms but we have epidemic rates of obesity. We have more grocery stores and less local organic foods; more time to talk and less real conversation; more knowledge and less wisdom; more drinking and less real celebration; more religion and less hope, truth and love; more things to make us happy and less joy; more politics and greater divisions of wealth, power, resources and relationships; more schools and less learning; more platforms to communicate and yet no one hears our voice; more room to create and less creativity. We have so much but we have so little.

WHY?

Because we are so busy living to get bigger and better results to live bigger and better lives that we denied nourishing our hearts, mind, bodies, spirits and relationships. Results don’t fill us up with truth, love, hope, joy and peace. We may love results but they cannot love us back. It’s time for a different way. It’s time for us to remember how who we are and how we are designed to be satisfied and not be used to get a result.

You are invited to Give-Up living for results and learn how we are designed to be nourished as whole-people in Vive Alchemy.

 

Monday’s Musings

It’s ok to have failures- you don’t have to redefine it as anything other than a failure.
It’s ok to have pain and it not be anything but painful. Breaking your toe doesn’t produce a better toe, but a lot of colorful language.
It’s ok to feel and not respond.
It’s ok to just be.

If you don’t start nourishing yourself, you will never be able to nourish others.

If you are not full, you will always operate out of emptiness. If you are not full, you will use everything and everyone to fill yourself up.

There are somethings and some people you will never be enough for, because they are consuming you out of their own emptiness.

A healthy community is made up of individuals full of love, who know who they are and how they are designed to be, feel, think, move and relate as their true-selves. The first act of love is to tell your truth/your story to your neighbor.

Only in a healthy community, do you discover yourself more, which leads to the opportunity to love yourself more, to receive more love from others and give more love to others.

The failures that ripped me open- were always ripping away a false-self that I was  unknowingly suffocating in.

How do people and circumstances expose you? What comes out of you? How do you feel?

We have to be forced to be honest. Truth sets us free to love. There is not trust without love and no love without truth.

People can’t respond to your truth who don’t know how to respond to their own truth.

People can’t respond to your pain who don’t know how to respond to their own pain.

Your truth and love will create places that people can trust are safe to be known and accepted.

You are enough for love

So I have this song in my head “Love is not enough” by Above and Beyond (my favorite). Anyway, I started this little mantra in my head saying “Love is enough”. In my heart, I truly want to believe love is enough, but will I ever believe it really is enough. I don’t know. Some days I do and some days I don’t.

I just started wondering if Love puts the pressure on me to believe that it is enough or does love just love me in all my belief and unbelief. If Love is powerful, strong, heavy and all consuming, then I believe it can handle taking the pressure off of me to believe love is enough and encourage me to believe that I am enough for love- which means there’s nothing I can do but be and be loved for just being me. I think can do that.

I think we can all just be and be loved. I think that’s where we can rest. We really cannot rest in our ability to believe but we can rest in the arms of someone that really  loves us for who we are and not who we wish we were or try to be. You are enough for love. It is a gift and not the result of the hard work of believing that love loves you. ❤ Love does just love you because you were we made in love, through love and for love.  I think love has you covered.

Refuse to use and be used.

In VIVE Alchemy, we live every day as we are designed to breathe, listen, ask, look and move to nourish our hearts, minds, spirits and bodies as a Whole-Person.

*We refuse to disconnect ourselves in order to get results.
*We refuse to reduce ourselves to a body just to “feel good”.
*We refuse to ignore our emotions/control our emotions. We listen to how we feel.
*We refuse to be spoonfed fragmented information and fragmented truths. We ask questions.
*We refuse to be told who we are, how we feel how to think and what to do. Institutions and programs are not our God.
* We refuse to do another program or another formula that demands us to not think or feel but just do. We are whole-people.
* We refuse to reduce life to a competition or to a game. We help others, we don’t compete with them.

VIVE Alchemy invites you to Give-Up being told what to do and how to live. You have a design that will flourish and give you the best results when you nourish it.

Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational health cannot fit into a program. Whole-Person health happens when you live each day to nourish (love) yourself and others.

If you’re tired of doing the same thing over and over and over and getting those results, then VIVE Alchemy is a space for you to rest and discover the way you are designed to get AMAZING results without trying to get results.

Give-Up all kinds of workouts like this.

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Learn the facts: Is this a realistic workout for anyone?
There’s no way to blindly measure calories burned per jumping jack, squat, push-up or crunch bc of the number of variables (unless monitored by machines) but you can vaguely calculate per min based on average weight of 150lbs.

Let’s say you finish one exercise per minute or one exercise in 3 minutes.
60 jumping jacks in 1 min=10 calories or you finish it in 3 min= 30 calories (*World record 61 jumping jacks in a minute)
25 squats in 1 min= 5 calories or you finish it in 3 min=15 calories
20 push-ups in 1 min= 7 calories or 3 min=21 calories
50 crunches 1 min= 3 calories or 3 minutes =9 calories
*The total of calories burned in 4 minutes is 25 calories or 75 calories in 12 minutes.
*7 rounds would take you either 28 minutes or at a 3 minute rate it would take 1 hour and 24 minutes.
*7 rounds in 28 minutes you burn 175 calories or in 1 hour 24 minutes you burn 525 calories. 3x a week is 525 calories or 1575 calories.

Here’s the problem. Neither times are realistic for anyone. Either you’re an elite athlete completing 7 rounds in 28 minutes or your an elite athlete able to exercise consistently for 1 hour and 24 minutes.

What’s wrong with this? Just the fact, that this is the crap you are fed everyday. First, pictures like this assume a lot. They assume they can tell you exact calories burned,  but the only way to measure calorie burn in any of these exercises is by wearing a CO2 mask.  I did some simple math and not only does it not add up but it takes an incredible amount of effort, stamina and time to burn 1,000 calories.

How about just not putting 1,000 extra empty calories in your body and call it a day. Your organs burn over 70% of your calories just to keep you alive. Your muscles and workouts don’t really burn as many calories as you think or that your wrist devices calculate and the whole “change your metabolism” is a hoax too. Charts and information like this are so misguided. They know people can’t do this workout sustainably (if at all) and because you can’t do it, then it is your fault.  “Oh, you didn’t lose weight? Well, I guess YOU couldn’t stick to this workout.” (yet, knowing full well that 1,000 calorie burned mark will probably never be reached by anyone doing this workout). So in essence, they put the failure back on the person and not themselves with their crappy misguided information.

Don’t even get me started on these exercises and if they are done correctly or should be done at all. Exercise doesn’t work correctly, if it’s breaking you down. All my years in the gym and few people did these exercises correctly. Yet, even when I did these exercises correctly, they still broke me down.

I can’t begin to tell you how furious I am by the mountains of misinformation being marketed to keep you beaten down and confused. Seriously Give-Up them up! These workouts don’t work. They are a waste of your time, money and breath.

VIVE Alchemy invites you to learn the truth and Give-Up exercising to lose weight. Neither you or exercise were designed to work that way.

Too much

IMG_1819.JPGI want to live a life of too much. I want to hope too much, believe too much, rest too much and trust too much in Divine Love that gave me too much love, too much grace, too much forgiveness, too much mercy, too much hope, too much joy, too much peace, too much patience, too much kindness, too much goodness, too much faithfulness, too much gentleness, too much self-control and way too much family; in order that I can now love too much, laugh too much, cry too much, dance too much, dream too much, forgive too much, hurt too much, give too much, taste too much, smell too much, hear too much, see too much, feel too much, enjoy too much and experience too much of life and too much love.

My results, my story

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Hi! My name is DeeAnn Bower. I am the founder of VIVE Alchemy. I am inviting you to Give-Up every diet and exercise program/formula that wants to reduce you and your life to a result. I gave up everything that I taught for 15 years and couldn’t be happier or healthier. I gave-up killing myself in the gym, timing my meals, portion sizes, calorie counting, protein shakes, supplements and all the pain, guilt, blood, sweat and tears that I thought was required to be “in shape”.
And guess what… I love what giving up feels like and looks like.
It’s time for a new way, a smarter way and easier way to eat and exercise. A new way that includes all the amazing parts of you like your heart, mind, spirit and body. It’s called the way you are designed. It’s called VIVE Alchemy! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻
I hope you will join me.

I gave up being a result.

What brings you to the point to make a decision to quit the very place that stored and displayed past achievements, a present job, the hope of a future career and a place where you have a program/ “the right formula” that gives you some measure of personal success, security, comfort and control? I had found the formula that I could plug myself into and achieve results. I did it for 15 years.  In fact, I had just achieved the best results of my life at 40. I had a six-pack. I was stronger than I had ever been (just ask the guys in my gym). Most importantly, I had proven that my formula worked. At least, that’s what it looked like on the outside but what I felt, thought and believed was a different story

Growing up deeply religious and having just walked through the last 6 years of my life, I was very aware that I had given myself over to religion, family, coaches, sports, men, culture, people and even my own self to tell me who I was my entire life. It had been the last year that I had finally been set free of the religious rules that had reduced my heart, mind, spirit and body (for 40 years) to nothing more than the result/obedience. Everything I thought, felt, did and believed was put into the If/ Then formula. If I did xyzThen I would get the desired result

The If/Then formula was the formula for my body. It was the formula for my spirit. It was the formula for my heart. It was the formula for my mind. It was the formula for my relationships. It was my formula of living. I took it everywhere, it was my precious. It seemed to work for me. I was successful at manipulating myself to fit into the formula anytime, anyplace and for anybody. It looked like the formula worked. I had received an athletic college scholarship. I was married. I had kids, friends, fit body and religion. From the outside at a very superficial level, it looked like the formula was achieving good results

When you reduce yourself to fit into a formula to get results, then you should not be surprised when your formula works like a formula. By constantly manipulating myself to fit into a formula to get the desired results, (which was only an effort to control my life, myself and other’s response to me), the equal and opposite reaction that occurred was that I reduced myself and I was reduced to a non-person. I became just an object. Looking back, it’s easy to see my whole life had been reduced to how well I just do it. (How well could I play a sport, get good grades, obey, be good, be pretty, be polite, be a wife, be a mom, be a christian, keep a clean house, work, get it done AND not feel, not think; and not be human but JUST DO the formula.

See, the formula is attractive.  The formula promises control. If we do the formula, then we can avoid pain, mistakes, sadness, loneliness, weaknesses, guilt, shame and fear. But the formula fails to list this disclaimer. Newton’s third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I don’t know how in the heck it happened but I do know it happened. I got all the results that I had been accumulating from my formula living life and pain, sadness, loneliness, mistakes, guilt, shame, fear, and weaknesses came busting through my door. I mean come on, I had earned them! Trust me it was not pretty. Real life came crashing into my formula living life like a freaking tsunami and it smashed all my formulas and results to bits. When the water receded, I saw that I had been living a lie, because I had believed the lies that 1) Doing a formula is living. 2) That formulas can tell you who you are, how to feel, what to think and what to do. 3) That formulas can save you. 4) That formulas can get you love, joy, peace, patience, hope, goodness and build trust. 5) That you can reduce yourself to fit into a formula.

Because of the tsunami of results that I did not see coming, I was forced to be honest and I was set free from being just a body, from formula living, from being told I was a winner or loser based on my results and from being told to do better and try harder. Most importantly, I was freed To be human. I was freed to live how I was designed to be weak, sensitive, fragile, vulnerable, transparent, desperate and dependent on someone bigger than a formula to tell me who I was. I was freed to receive love and all the beautiful things that grow out of it. I was freed to know who I am, how I feel, to use my brain and to live (take risk, make mistakes, look messy, admit mistakes, be honest about my weaknesses and not pretend I was in control). The equal and opposite reaction of living loved and free was guilt, pain, shame, fear, loneliness and sadness had a place to go to be heard and be responded to with truth- not a formula. 

When we try to avoid pain, loneliness, shame, guilt and fear we also don’t get to experience things like love, joy, hope and the fruits of love like peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. By living in a formula, we LOSE the very things that we need and are designed for to live; and we Lose when all of life is lived to WIN or to get a result.

It’s funny, how my gym formula was the last go. I had successfully manipulated and controlled my body for years to look a certain way but the equal and opposite reaction was I was physically broken-down. Fifteen years in the gym on a daily basis had brought me to the point that I said out loud to myself, “If being in shape feels like this, then I don’t want to do it anymore” and I began to see that the gym was still something that I thought I could use to remain in control of myself but it was actually a system of rules that I had l given myself over to and it controlled me; and it had become a prison.

Because I was at the point where truth could not be denied, the formula had failed and I physically hurt so bad that I was forced to start asking questions. These questions led me deep within myself to discover why I was still killing myself in the gym. These questions brought me to the deeper truth that I was doing a formula to get value, acceptance, approval-aka love. This truth led me to what I feel is one of the main truths of life, which is “No matter what you look like, act like or do, you cannot earn love”. Old habits die hard and although I knew who I was and had been set free spiritually, I still believed there was something I could do to earn another person’s love. I do think at the root of everything that we DO is either a reflection of being loved or is a means to to get love- even workouts, diets and programs.

Anyway, truth always leads to more truth and the truth of what I was doing and why I was doing it led to the ultimate truth-YOU DON’T EARN LOVE. YOU CANNOT GET LOVE. LOVE IS A GIFT. IT CANNOT BE EARNED. IT CAN ONLY BE GIVEN AND RECEIVED.

YEP- that truth hit me when I was at the gym and I literally walked out and walked into more freedom to ask some more questions about exercise, food, design and whole-person health. VIVE Alchemy is the truth of what I learned after I realized I was loved for exactly who I was and not for what I do or look like. This truth led to more questions that led to more learning about human design and the truths of how we are designed to nourish ourselves with gifts like food and exercise and not use them as a means to an end to get a result. The results of me Giving up being a result is right before you. It is called VIVE Alchemy.

So, today I invite you to GIVE UP living for results, GIVE UP reducing yourself to fit into a formula, GIVE UP being told you are a winner or a loser based on your performance, GIVE UP winning and losing, because winning requires LOSING parts of yourself that can’t fit into that formula. I have “won” trophies and have had good results but nothing compares to the results I have received when I GAVE UP doing a formula and started living. 

VIVE Alchemy is an invitation and a place where you can GIVE UP and discover that you can actually have the best results when you quit trying to get results and you live to nourish your heart, mind, body and spirit with the things they are designed to Be Whole.